Sisters In Sobriety

The Truth About Sober Dating, Sex, and Love with Kaitlin Henry

In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, we’re back with another installment of our no-filter mini-series where past guests answer 10 revealing questions about what it’s really like to date without alcohol in the picture.This time, Sonia chats with Kaitlin Henry, wellness advocate and host of the Step Zero podcast. Kaitlin busts the myth that you have to hit rock bottom before you can change—and now, she’s opening up about love after divorce, how getting sober changed her approach to relationships, and why acts of service are her love language.From awkward first sober dates to realizing that two-drink limits are non-negotiable, Kaitlin shares the red and green flags she looks for, the playlist track that sums up her love life, and her favorite sober date idea (hint: it involves a boat and no wine list).Get ready for some serious honesty, relatable stories, and a few laugh-out-loud moments. Whether you're newly sober, sober curious, or just navigating dating without defaulting to “grabbing drinks,” this one's for you.Kaitlin's LinksGet In Touch With KaitlinHer go-to song by Gracie AbramsSisters In Sobriety Links💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast📸 Kathleen’s InstagramRead lessSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

Helping Without Hurting: Family Recovery That Works

This week on Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen are taking on one of the trickiest parts of recovery: what happens at home. Their guest, Amber Hollingsworth, is a licensed professional counselor, family recovery expert, and the brain behind the YouTube channel Put the Shovel Down. With over 20 years of experience, she helps families deal with the chaos of addiction—without burning themselves out in the process.If you’ve ever tried to help a loved one and ended up feeling like the bad guy (or totally powerless), this conversation is going to hit close to home. Amber explains why the old-school intervention model often backfires, how shame and blame keep people stuck, and why the people closest to someone struggling with addiction often have more influence than they think.There’s a better way—and Amber walks us through it. From her “Invisible Intervention” method to a strength-based approach that helps people reconnect with their values, she shares real tools that actually work. You'll hear how she encourages people to stop focusing on what’s going wrong and start noticing what’s still right—and how families can become part of the solution without getting dragged down by the drama.Sonia and Kathleen also open up about their own experiences trying (and failing) to stage an intervention, what they’d do differently now, and why it's so hard to step out of the “rescuer” role when someone you love is hurting. It’s raw, it’s real, and honestly—it’s the kind of conversation that makes you rethink everything you thought you knew about helping someone get better.This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources.Episode Highlights (Time-Stamped):00:01:00 – How Amber got into addiction counseling (hint: not the usual story)00:02:30 – Growing up surrounded by addiction, and not realizing it until much later00:04:45 – Why she started Put the Shovel Down and how it became a mission00:05:55 – Why families often have more power than they think00:06:40 – Creating a team approach: everyone gets their own support00:08:20 – Why one-sided therapy can sometimes make things worse00:10:30 – Everyone has their version of the story—and why that matters00:12:00 – The most common way families accidentally slow down recovery00:13:30 – When traditional interventions help—and when they totally miss the mark00:15:00 – The bargaining stage (and why no one gets to skip it)00:17:00 – Words that trigger defensiveness—and what to say instead00:19:00 – What went wrong in Sonia and Kathleen’s attempt to help a family member00:21:30 – The Invisible Intervention method explained step by step00:23:00 – Building credit and influence with your loved one00:25:00 – Natural consequences vs. punishment: why the difference matters00:27:30 – What really helps someone see the problem for themselves00:30:00 – Strength-based coaching: how Amber helps people reconnect with who they are00:32:45 – Why it’s not about calling people out—it’s about calling them back to themselves00:34:20 – Common values people rediscover when they stop drinking00:36:30 – How to acknowledge addiction without crushing someone with shame00:38:10 – Why so many middle-aged women defend their nightly wine00:41:00 – How alcohol becomes the stand-in for self-care00:42:00 – What to say to someone who doesn’t “seem” like they have a problem00:43:30 – Why trying moderation might actually help you quit00:45:00 – Navigating early sobriety when everyone around you is still drinking00:46:00 – Final takeaway: You’re not powerless—and you don’t have to lose yourself trying to help someone elseAmber's LinksYouTubeInstagramSisters In Sobriety Links💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram🌐 Kathleen’s Website – Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast📲 Kathleen’s InstagramSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

The Truth About Sober Dating, Sex, and Love with Whitney Combs

In this special mini-episode of our spicy new series: The Truth About Sober Dating, Sex, and Love, we have Whitney Combs. A nationally board-certified health and wellness coach, wife, and mom of three. Whitney opens up about rediscovering intimacy without alcohol, why honesty became her ultimate non-negotiable, and how she chooses restaurants based solely on dessert and mocktails (relatable). Oh—and she’s got a concert horror story you won’t forget.If you’ve ever wondered how to navigate sober sex, sober dating apps, or what to say when someone asks, “Why don’t you drink?”—this episode is for you.Whitney’s Links • 🌐 Whitney’s Website • 📲 Whitney on Instagram • 🎵 “If We Were Vampires” – Jason IsbellSisters in Sobriety Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website – Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📲 Kathleen’s InstagramSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

When Family Hurts: The Truth About Estrangement With Dr. Sharon

Navigating family dynamics can be one of the hardest parts of recovery—especially when the relationships we’re told are “unbreakable” feel anything but safe. In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen are joined by Dr. Sharon Martin, psychotherapist and author of Cutting Ties with Your Parents and The Better Boundaries Workbook. With over 25 years of experience, Dr. Martin helps us unpack what it really means to set boundaries with family, the complexities of estrangement, and how these issues often resurface in sobriety.Together, we explore some big questions: How do you know when it’s time to go no-contact with a parent or family member? What’s the difference between estrangement and avoidance? How do you deal with the guilt, grief, and judgment that come up when you make that choice? And how do old family wounds start to resurface once we get sober? From emotional manipulation to the pressure to reconcile, we talk through the many layers that come with stepping away from dysfunction.Dr. Martin offers practical tools and insights for healing—whether you’ve already gone no-contact or are just beginning to question what’s healthy for you. We talk about building self-trust through small, everyday actions, reparenting yourself when you never got what you needed growing up, and what it looks like to maintain sobriety while navigating painful family dynamics. You'll also learn why grief can show up even when you never had the kind of relationship you're mourning.This episode is also deeply personal. Sonia opens up about grieving the mother-daughter connection she never experienced, and Kathleen shares what it feels like to question whether estrangement is truly healing or just a form of self-protection. It’s a thoughtful, honest, and empowering conversation—especially for anyone trying to make peace with their past while protecting their present.20 TIME-STAMPED HIGHLIGHTS[00:01:00] Meet Dr. Sharon Martin and how she found this work[00:03:00] Growing up with alcoholism and how it shaped her path[00:05:00] Why trauma always finds its way into therapy[00:06:30] When a family relationship stops feeling emotionally safe[00:08:45] Estrangement isn’t a rash decision—it’s the last resort[00:10:30] Facing guilt, judgment, and societal pressure[00:12:00] Why other people’s opinions don’t always reflect reality[00:14:30] How emotional manipulation becomes normalized[00:17:30] What healthy estrangement can actually look like[00:20:00] When reconciliation is worth considering—and when it’s not[00:22:00] Why false hope and outside pressure often backfire[00:23:30] Navigating milestone events like weddings and funerals[00:25:30] Estrangement vs. avoidance—how to tell the difference[00:29:00] Grieving the family fantasy you never had[00:31:00] Why complicated grief around family is valid[00:34:00] The importance of processing feelings through movement and expression[00:35:30] Keeping your sobriety solid while navigating emotional landmines[00:37:00] Emotional wounds adult children of dysfunction carry[00:40:00] Rebuilding self-worth through small, doable commitments[00:44:00] Why early sobriety can bring childhood trauma to the surfaceThis is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Head to our Substack for extra tools, reflections, and mocktail recipes to support your journey.Links💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram🌐 Kathleen’s Website – Kathleen does not endorse products mentioned📸 Kathleen’s InstagramConnect with Dr. Sharon Martin📘 Cutting Ties with Your Parents – Amazon📘 The Better Boundaries Guided Journal – Amazon🌐 LiveWellWithSharonMartin.com📸 Instagram📘 Facebook📺 YouTubeSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

Are You Co-Dependent? A 10 Question Quiz

In this special mini-episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen invite you to slow down for a few minutes and take an honest look at how codependency may be showing up in your life. This isn’t a diagnosis or a formal assessment—just a chance to reflect with a simple, 10-question quiz that’s designed to spark insight and self-awareness.☁️ In this candid conversation, we ask:Do you often feel responsible for others’ emotions?Are you suppressing your needs to avoid conflict?Is it easier to give care than receive it?💬 After the quiz, Sonia and Kathleen open up about how codependency has impacted their own relationships—from family dynamics to marriage—and how awareness has helped them move toward healthier boundaries and interdependence.🎓 You’ll learn:What codependent patterns can look like in everyday lifeWhy "fixing" others often leads to self-neglectHow childhood dynamics can shape adult relationshipsTools for recognizing when you're stepping into over-functioning mode👀 If you’ve ever found yourself walking on eggshells, ignoring your own needs, or feeling responsible for someone else’s emotional state, this episode is for you.📝 Want to revisit the quiz later or share it with a friend? It’s available on our Substack—along with tons of supportive content, reflections, and resources to help you change your relationship with alcohol and deepen your self-awareness.If you’ve ever felt like you’re losing yourself in relationships—always giving, fixing, or putting others first, Kathleen has created The Path Back to You is a free guide with a self-reflection quiz, five simple practices, and journaling prompts to help you reconnect with your voice, your needs, and your boundaries.✨ Links Links💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast📸 Kathleen’s InstagramSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

Let’s Talk Codependency: And What to Do About It

Today on Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen are diving into a topic that often comes up after we quit drinking: codependency. With Kathleen’s clinical expertise as a couples therapist and Sonia’s real-life experiences, they’re unpacking what codependency really means—and how to spot it in yourself.What exactly is codependency—and how is it different from being loving, loyal, or just... a decent human? Is it mutual? Does it show up only in romantic relationships? Can you be codependent with your dog? In this episode, Sonia and Kathleen explore these questions and more, including the red flags, psychological roots, and surprising ways codependency might still be running the show in your sober life.Listeners will come away with a deeper understanding of the difference between support and self-sacrifice, healthy interdependence versus emotional enmeshment, and how sobriety can reveal codependent tendencies that were previously hidden behind a wine glass. The episode also explores hyper-independence as the flip side of codependency—and why swinging between extremes isn’t the goal either.As always, the episode gets personal. Sonia opens up about how she once believed caretaking was the hallmark of a good marriage, how she walked on eggshells to avoid the "Kraken" (her ex’s moods), and what changed after getting sober. Kathleen shares insights from her own marriage, her childhood patterns, and how even therapists have to work on their stuff. It’s honest, raw, and full of lightbulb moments.If you’ve ever felt like you’re losing yourself in relationships—always giving, fixing, or putting others first, Kathleen has created The Path Back to You is a free guide with a self-reflection quiz, five simple practices, and journaling prompts to help you reconnect with your voice, your needs, and your boundaries.✨ This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources.Time-stamped Highlights[00:01:00] Sonia introduces the episode and shares a recent therapy revelation. [00:02:30] Kathleen defines codependency in practical terms. [00:04:00] Why codependency isn’t just about romantic relationships. [00:06:10] The difference between caring and being codependent. [00:07:30] Sonia shares a story about her ex’s “Kraken” moods. [00:09:00] Emotional reliance and attachment patterns. [00:10:30] Codependent parenting and walking on eggshells. [00:11:30] Red flags for identifying codependency. [00:13:30] Examples of codependency outside of romance. [00:15:00] How codependency forms in childhood. [00:21:00] Why sobriety often reveals codependent patterns. [00:23:00] What happens to relationships after sobriety and boundary-setting. [00:24:00] Healthy interdependence vs. hyper-independence. [00:26:00] Are women more likely to struggle with codependency? [00:27:30] First steps for healing and reclaiming your identity. [00:28:30] Book recs: Codependent No More and Facing Codependence. [00:29:30] Reconnecting with your needs—starting with Friday night plans. [00:30:30] What changes when you stop playing the people-pleasing role. [00:32:00] Guilt, grief, and growing into a new version of yourself. [00:34:00] Do you need to explain your boundaries to others? [00:35:00] How to handle guilt when you stop overfunctioning. [00:36:00] Final thoughts and encouragement to keep doing the work.Links💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast📸 Kathleen’s InstagramSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

The Truth About Sober Dating, Sex, and Love with Sam Barnes

In this mini-episode of Sisters in Sobriety, we’re diving into sober dating with psychotherapist Samantha Barnes.Sam has over two decades of experience working with children, youth, and families on their wellness journeys. and she’s currently embracing the single life with clarity, confidence, and no time for BS. We asked her 10 honest questions about dating, sex, and relationships—and she brought the wisdom.Sam talks about being blindsided by how big of a deal not drinking was to a date, why she now leads with her sobriety on the apps, and the kinds of questions that feel supportive (versus just plain judgmental). She shares the red flags she used to ignore, the green ones she seeks out, and why walking dates are where it's at. Plus: her new philosophy on love (spoiler: it’s not about giving 150%).💬 Get ready for practical advice, honest reflection, and a reminder that your boundaries are valid—even on a first date.👇LinksTo learn more about Sam's work, visit her website or follow her on social media at @sweetspotcounselling. 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast📸 Kathleen’s InstagramSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

Motherhood Without Chardonnay with Sarah Benton

Parenting while staying sober isn’t for the faint of heart—but you don’t have to do it alone. On this week’s episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen are diving into the layered, often unspoken, realities of recovery and motherhood with the brilliant Sarah Allen Benton. Sarah is a licensed mental health counselor, addiction specialist, and the author of Understanding the High-Functioning Alcoholic and Parents in Recovery. She brings nearly two decades of personal sobriety and professional experience to this candid and compassionate conversation.From blackout drinking in her early 20s to running a mental health practice and parenting a teen in sobriety, Sarah shares her remarkable journey and hard-won wisdom. Sonia and Kathleen explore questions like: What does it really mean to be a “high-functioning alcoholic”? Why is parenting in recovery so uniquely challenging? How can we teach our kids about addiction and emotional health? Sarah breaks down the importance of talking openly about addiction with children, how to handle digital addiction in the age of iPads and TikTokSarah opens up about her early drinking days, her moment of reckoning at age 27, and the slow, gray, sometimes thankless beginning of recovery. She also shares what it’s been like to raise a daughter in a sober household, how her marriage has been shaped by recovery, and why self-care is not optional—it's essential.This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources.Episode Highlights:00:01 Welcome Sarah Allen Benton and intro00:58 Sarah’s first experience with alcohol and her early patterns02:45 Blacking out from the beginning—what Sarah misunderstood about “normal” drinking05:12 Being a high-functioning alcoholic in college06:35 The illusion of control and trying to outthink addiction09:12 The moment Sarah knew she had to stop11:00 Building her own outpatient sobriety plan12:30 What early sobriety felt like (hint: not pink clouds)14:40 Writing as a tool for processing recovery15:35 Becoming a parent in recovery and writing Parents in Recovery17:05 Talking to kids about addiction and recovery18:45 The stigma of being a parent in recovery20:10 Raising toddlers vs. teens—sobriety challenges by age22:00 Hypervigilance and screen time addiction24:55 The science of digital hygiene and dopamine overload26:50 Creative ways to talk to kids about brain health and family history29:15 “The Telling”—navigating when and how to tell your kids you’re in recovery32:00 Kids noticing changes in drunk adults—and the emotional fallout35:30 The challenge of giving your kids real-world exposure without trauma38:00 Why this generation is more risk-averse but more anxious40:10 Self-care vs. soul care—and why it’s not optional for parents in recovery42:50 Recovery as a long-term investment, not a short-term reward44:00 Wisdom from single parents in recovery46:30 The myth of doing it all: learning to say no without guilt49:00 How sobriety changes marriage and dating dynamics51:00 Love without martinis: codependency, relapse fears, and boundaries54:00 The importance of having a recovery-affirming partner56:00 The parallel recovery journey for spouses and family membersLinksLearn more about Sarah!Parents in Recovery: Navigating a Sober Family LifestyleParents in Recovery Facebook Group💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast📸 Kathleen’s InstagramSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

The Truth About Sober Dating, Sex, and Love with Ali Shapiro

Welcome to Sisters in Sobriety and our mini-series The Truth About Sober Dating, Sex & Relationships—where we get personal with our favorite guests in 10 spicy questions.Today, we're joined by the brilliant and refreshingly honest Ali Shapiro, creator of Truce with Food, health rebel, and emotional detective. You may remember Ali from our previous episode, where we talked about creating meaning beyond food. This time, we’re diving into what it's like to date with food stuff, relationship green and red flags, and how emotional safety is the real aphrodisiac.💡 From bracing for rejection to learning what she actually wants in a partner, Ali keeps it real about the awkwardness of first dates, being the “healthy one” in a relationship, and why her go-to sober date still involves fresh air and muddy boots.Plus: how Jason Mraz made it to her wedding playlist, and what she learned when marriage 2.0 arrived (aka, post-kids chaos). You’ll laugh, nod, and possibly reevaluate your own date night dinner order.🔗 Links – Get in Touch with Ali Shapiro:Free breakfast experimentTruce with Food group program 📬 Stay Connected with Sisters in Sobriety:• Sisters In Sobriety Substack - find more tips, tricks, resources, and community• Sisters In Sobriety Email• Sisters In Sobriety Instagram• Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast• Kathleen’s InstagramSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

Craving Love, Not Wine: Reframing Addiction With Dr. Donna Marks

What if every addiction—whether it’s alcohol, sugar, or even your phone—is actually a substitute for love?In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen sit down with the wise and wonderfully candid Dr. Donna Marks. She’s a psychotherapist, addictions counselor, educator, and author with 30+ years of experience helping people find freedom from addiction by turning inward—not outward—for healing. She’s written Exit the Maze and The Healing Moment, and has created an award-winning addiction training program in Florida. Today, she joins us to unpack what addiction really is… and how self-love is the way through.We cover a lot in this episode—everything from the impact of childhood trauma to the sugar-cocaine connection (seriously, it’s wild), to whether things like medical marijuana or Ozempic are helping people heal… or just creating new problems. You’ll hear about the sneaky ways addiction hides in everyday habits, why medication isn't always the magic answer, and how to truly support your brain and body on the road to recovery.Expect real talk, powerful insights, and a whole lot of “ohhh that makes so much sense” moments. We also get personal—Dr. Marks shares her own story of relapse, healing, and radical transformation. Plus, Kathleen opens up about her sugar detox journey and navigating ADHD medication in recovery.Don’t miss Dr. Marks talking about growing up in an addicted household, what led to her own relapse, and how she reclaimed her life through love, not punishment. Her transformation is seriously inspiring.This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support space helping women change their relationship with alcohol. Want more tools, prompts, and inspiration? Head over to our Substack for all the extra goodness.Highlights from the Episode:00:02 – How Dr. Marks turned a painful upbringing into her purpose00:06 – What caused her relapse after 23 years sober00:08 – The problem with how doctors still treat pain—especially for people in recovery00:10 – Why she built an addiction training program (spoiler: no one knew what to look for)00:13 – Big Pharma, overprescribing, and how therapy sometimes misses the mark00:17 – Kathleen’s personal update on tapering ADHD meds and cutting sugar00:20 – That time sugar in salad dressing brought back all the cravings00:23 – Why addiction is never really about the substance00:25 – How childhood gaps in care create emotional holes we try to fill00:28 – What true self-love looks like (and how to build it daily)00:33 – Dr. Marks' take on how addiction drives most physical and mental illness00:35 – Screen addiction, food noise, and feeling stuck in a loop00:37 – Are drugs like Ozempic a shortcut—or just another trap?00:39 – How trauma can actually become a doorway to growth00:42 – What forgiveness actually looks like in healing00:44 – The telltale sign you’ve swapped one addiction for another00:46 – “Progress, not perfection”—why this mindset is everything00:47 – Final takeaways on sacred self-care, flexibility, and finding peaceLinks to Connect with Dr. Donna Marks:🌐 Website: drdonnamarks.com📸 Instagram: @drdonnamarksMore from Sisters in Sobriety:💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast📸 Kathleen’s InstagramSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations