Sisters In Sobriety

Midlife can make a woman feel as though her body has suddenly changed the rules—but those changes are not a personal failure, and they are not “just aging.” In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen help unpack the relationship between perimenopause, metabolic health, alcohol, blood sugar, stress and movement with Dr. Shawna Darou, ND. A naturopathic doctor with more than 20 years of experience, Dr. Darou translates complex women’s health information into clear, practical steps for building strength and vitality through midlife and beyond.
Why does alcohol suddenly hit harder in midlife? What do belly weight, brain fog, disrupted sleep, afternoon fatigue and persistent food noise reveal about insulin resistance? How can women use GLP-1 medications and continuous glucose monitors more responsibly—and why can excessive fasting or carbohydrate restriction backfire? The conversation also explores sugar cravings in early sobriety, chronic stress, menopause and the habits that support long-term metabolic health.
Dr. Darou explains why menopause is a metabolic transition, not only an estrogen transition; how alcohol interrupts nighttime blood sugar regulation and fat oxidation; and why muscle acts as a “metabolic sink.” She shares a realistic starting point: prioritize protein, add daily movement, walk after meals and build strength gradually. Flexible consistency, proper recovery and movement that feels genuinely enjoyable matter more than perfection.
Dr. Darou also shares her unexpected evolution from engineer to naturopathic doctor—and from someone who did not identify as an athlete to a competitive runner who began racing at 50. Her story challenges narrow ideas about aging and shows how confidence, community and ambitious new goals can emerge later in life.
This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.
Timestamp Highlights
01:00 — Meet Dr. Shawna Darou02:00 — From engineering to women’s health05:00 — The pandemic’s metabolic impact06:00 — Movement as a longevity lever07:00 — Becoming an athlete at 4909:00 — Why women over 40 need new possibilities13:00 — Metabolic health beyond weight15:00 — Early signs of metabolic dysfunction17:00 — How insulin resistance fuels cravings18:00 — Reversing dysfunction without diet culture20:00 — GLP-1 benefits and risks23:00 — Why midlife changes the rules26:00 — Using a continuous glucose monitor responsibly32:00 — Chronic stress and blood sugar35:00 — What alcohol does metabolically38:00 — Why alcohol hits harder in midlife39:00 — Sugar cravings in early recovery41:00 — The “yes with a boundary” approach47:00 — Protein and post-meal movement56:00 — Flexible consistency, intensity and recovery
Dr. Darou’s Links
Website — www.drshawnadarou.comInstagram — @drshawnadarou
SIS Links
💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen
📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email
📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram
🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast
📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

What happens when alcohol feels like the only way to become comfortable in your own skin? In this episode, Sonia is joined by Braunwyn Spinner, advocate, mother of seven, and former Real Housewives of Orange County cast member whose sobriety unfolded in public.
How can someone go years without alcohol and still have a serious drinking problem? What changes when a social life—and a television career—is built around drinking? Braunwyn and Sonia explore relapse, alcohol withdrawal, AA and the 12 steps, sober socializing, queer recovery spaces, codependency, parenting, and the difference between avoiding alcohol and developing emotional sobriety. They also ask why getting sober can initially feel worse, how to identify the “fun limit,” and what it means to choose recovery when relationships and routines begin to change.
Their conversation makes clear that alcohol dependence is not defined only by how often a person drinks, but by what happens after the first drink. They discuss why heavy withdrawal should never be attempted alone, how independent transportation and an exit plan can protect early sobriety, and why repeatedly stopping for a few days can mean reliving the hardest stage again and again. Recovery can include community, boundaries, therapy, medication, and learning to recognize the restless “wanting” beneath substitute compulsions.
Braunwyn also shares the deeply personal story behind her first drink at 14, the moment in Miami that ended her drinking, and the sober producer who helped get her into an AA meeting when she planned to relapse. She opens up about realizing she was gay in sobriety, leaving a decades-long marriage, co-parenting, becoming more present with her children, surviving a mental health crisis, returning to television, and loosening the hold of beauty standards and the male gaze.
This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.
Highlights
00:01 – Braunwyn introduces herself in a new chapter as Braunwyn Spinner00:02 – Why her first drink made her feel comfortable in her skin00:04 – The difference between abstinence and working a recovery program00:05 – Why time between drinks does not rule out alcohol addiction00:07 – How reality television accelerated her drinking00:09 – The “God shot” that told her drinking had to end00:12 – Sonia’s final drink and the unexpected day sobriety began00:14 – What the first 30 days can feel like00:16 – The sober producer who helped save Braunwyn’s life00:19 – Finding comfort instead of judgment in AA00:21 – Sobriety, stillness, and realizing she was gay00:23 – Protecting early recovery with a private room, car, and exit plan00:24 – Recognizing the sober “fun limit”00:27 – Braunwyn’s first sober kiss with a woman00:29 – How sobriety exposed codependency and changed her marriage00:34 – Parenting with presence and making living amends00:36 – Why emotional health can feel worse before it gets better00:38 – Queer identity, religious trauma, and addiction risk00:42 – Recognizing substitute addictions and the feeling of “wanting”00:52 – Why giving sobriety six weeks can change everything
 
Braunwyn's Links
📸 Instagram
SIS Links
💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen
📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email
📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram
🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast
📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

Early sobriety can feel euphoric, terrifying, lonely and unexpectedly funny—sometimes all in the same day. In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen explore what the first days and months without alcohol actually look like and share practical ways to manage cravings, triggers and life after rehab. They are joined by Heather Chappell and Zoe Kachan, host and co-host of Girl, Undrunk, the raw, unfiltered sobriety podcast that finds humor in the highs, lows and messiness of recovery.
What happens when someone returns from rehab to the same apartment, routines and drinking cues they left behind? How do friendships change when alcohol is no longer the thing holding them together? Heather and Zoe discuss the “rehab high,” the fear of relapse, sober community, dating without alcohol and the surprising challenge of discovering who they are when drinking is no longer shaping their personalities.
The conversation examines emotional sobriety, mental health and the slow work of developing coping skills that alcohol once replaced. Heather and Zoe explain how meetings, sponsorship, therapy, firm boundaries and supportive sober friendships helped them build safer lives. They also share simple approaches to cravings: staying in the present, following the possible consequences of a drink from beginning to end, leaving overwhelming situations and naming uncomfortable feelings out loud.
Heather and Zoe also open up about the experiences that led them to treatment, from isolation and deteriorating health to job loss, a DUI and repeated hospital visits. Their stories continue beyond getting sober, revealing the anger, trauma and relationship patterns that resurfaced in recovery. An honest discussion of sober intimacy explores how the body can carry fear even when the mind feels safe—and why patience, communication and self-trust matter while learning to date and connect without alcohol.
This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.
Episode Highlights02:00 Heather’s loneliness, anxiety and escalating drinking in New York05:00 The call that finally took Heather to rehab06:00 Zoe’s early drinking, drug use and need to fit in09:00 A DUI, hospital visits and Zoe’s last attempt to start over11:00 Leaving rehab and facing the first 90 days12:00 Resisting an early craving at the dog park13:00 Building a protective routine around high-risk hours15:00 Discovering that personality and humor survive sobriety17:00 Relearning adulthood after years of drinking19:00 Mental health, emotional sobriety and alcohol as a coping mechanism21:00 Meetings, sponsorship and rebuilding confidence22:00 Therapy, anger and confronting the past without alcohol24:00 Everyday triggers and rewiring the brain26:00 Leaving unsafe situations and setting firm boundaries29:00 How sobriety changes friendships32:00 The chance meeting that brought Heather and Zoe together40:00 Dating, relapse and protecting early recovery44:00 Sober intimacy, dissociation and learning to trust the body49:00 Day-one advice and how to name a craving
Girl, Undrunk Links
Instagram
SIS Links
💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen
📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email
📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram
🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast
📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

Can unresolved emotional pain influence alcohol cravings, addictive behaviors, and the way the body experiences stress? In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia speaks with Dr. Bradley Nelson, holistic physician and bestselling author of The Emotion Code, The Body Code, and The Heart Code, about his approach to identifying and releasing what he calls “trapped emotions.”
Why can someone understand a harmful pattern and still feel unable to change it? Could addiction be less about the substance itself and more about an attempt to soothe emotional pain? Dr. Nelson shares his perspective on the subconscious mind, biofeedback, muscle testing, alcohol cravings, and the “heart wall”—a protective emotional barrier he believes can form after heartbreak, grief, trauma, or loss.
The conversation explores how emotions may go unprocessed, how present-day triggers can connect with earlier experiences, and why Dr. Nelson views symptoms as messages rather than root causes. He demonstrates the sway test, explains the Emotion Code chart, and describes his process for narrowing down an emotion, deciding whether more context is needed, and using a magnet or hand movement to release it. These practices are presented as Dr. Nelson’s energy-healing framework and are not a substitute for evidence-based medical, mental health, or addiction care.
Dr. Nelson also opens up about the childhood experiences that shaped his path, including a serious case of measles, kidney disease, and an early encounter with holistic practitioners in rural Montana. He traces the journey from computer programmer to chiropractor and shares stories that led him to connect physical symptoms, heartbreak, compulsive behavior, and emotional healing—including accounts involving chronic pain, food cravings, and alcohol use.
This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.
00:00 — Dr. Bradley Nelson and the concept of trapped emotions02:00 — Childhood healing experiences and belief in a higher power05:00 — From computer programming to the healing arts06:00 — Searching for the roots of patients’ symptoms07:00 — Addiction as a response to emotional pain09:00 — The subconscious mind as the body’s internal computer11:00 — Muscle testing and yes-or-no biofeedback13:00 — How emotions may become “trapped” in the body16:00 — Emotional baggage, anxiety, PTSD, and addictive behavior18:00 — The overflowing-glass metaphor for emotional pain20:00 — How the “heart wall” may relate to addiction22:00 — Why the heart is viewed as more than a pump26:00 — A patient story connecting heartbreak and chronic neck pain29:00 — Introducing the ring-in-ring method and sway test36:00 — Using the Emotion Code chart to identify an emotion38:00 — Closing an emotional “open loop”42:00 — How emotional baggage may drive cravings45:00 — A story about alcohol urges and releasing the heart wall48:00 — True healing versus symptom relief51:00 — A small next step and where to learn more
Dr. Bradley's Links
Instagram
Website
SIS Links
💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen
📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email
📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram
🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast
📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

Addiction treatment has not always been designed with women in mind—and that can profoundly shape how women experience recovery. In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia is joined by Dr. Stephanie S. Covington, internationally recognized clinician, author, and pioneer in addiction and trauma treatment, whose groundbreaking work includes A Woman’s Way Through the Twelve Steps, Helping Women Recover, Beyond Trauma, and Awaken Your Sexuality.
Why do traditional addiction treatment and Twelve Step programs sometimes fail to reflect women’s actual experiences? How are trauma, relationships, sexuality, shame, and addiction connected? Dr. Covington examines why recovery can look different for women, what conventional relapse prevention may overlook, and why community and connection are so essential. She also discusses the gaps in addiction treatment within jails and prisons, the importance of continuity of care after incarceration, and why she prefers the term “criminal legal system” over “criminal justice system.”
The conversation breaks down the relationship between childhood trauma, genetics, emotional development, substance use, and relapse. Dr. Covington explains when trauma and addiction may need to be treated simultaneously, the difference between trauma-informed, trauma-responsive, and trauma-specific care, and the powerful shift from asking “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?” She also offers a gender-responsive perspective on the Twelve Steps, reframing concepts like the Fourth Step in ways that can reduce shame and help women see themselves more clearly in recovery.
Sonia also gets personal about working the Twelve Steps nearly nine years into sobriety, feeling disconnected from the male-centered language of traditional AA literature, dating and having sex sober for the first time, and navigating conversations around “Cali sober” and mindful substance use. Dr. Covington shares her own early experiment with moderation, why she has no desire to test whether she could drink again, and a surprisingly simple “green beans” test that can reveal just how much power alcohol or another substance has in someone’s life.
This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.
Highlights
00:01:00 – Meet Dr. Stephanie Covington and the personal recovery story behind her pioneering work
00:02:20 – What early addiction treatment and Twelve Step programs got wrong about women
00:03:35 – Why women-only recovery spaces can create greater safety and vulnerability
00:04:00 – Addiction, incarceration, and the lack of real treatment inside jails and prisons
00:06:00 – Medication-assisted treatment, Twelve Step access, and what is missing behind bars
00:07:00 – Why recovery community can be critical for successful reentry after incarceration
00:08:35 – Sonia shares that she is working the Twelve Steps nearly nine years into sobriety
00:09:20 – Why A Woman’s Way Through the Twelve Steps reframes recovery through women’s voices
00:10:00 – Reimagining the Fourth Step as a compassionate “spring cleaning” of the self
00:14:00 – Should AA literature change, and why Dr. Covington focuses on the Twelve Steps over the Big Book
00:16:00 – The Twelve Steps as tools for living, not simply tools for stopping drinking
00:17:00 – Why meetings, connection, and community strengthen long-term recovery
00:18:30 – How trauma and addiction become intertwined and why genetics is only part of the picture
00:21:00 – When trauma and addiction should be treated together rather than sequentially
00:23:30 – The three major relapse risks for women: trauma, relationships, and sexual issues
00:25:30 – Why childhood trauma can have a particularly profound developmental impact
00:28:00 – Big-T versus little-t trauma—and why comparing trauma can be misleading
00:30:00 – Relationships, sexuality, shame, and the overlooked realities of women’s recovery
00:33:00 – Sonia opens up about dating, intimacy, and having sex sober for the first time
00:37:00 – Trauma-informed, trauma-responsive, and trauma-specific care explained
00:39:00 – The origin and power of shifting from “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?”
00:44:00 – Cali sober, switching substances, moderation, and whether addiction can be “transcended”
00:49:30 – Dr. Covington shares her own failed experiment with having “just one” drink
00:50:30 – The 30-day experiment and the unforgettable “green beans” test for evaluating alcohol’s role
Dr. Covington's Links
https://www.stephaniecovington.com/
https://www.instagram.com/stephaniecovingtonofficial/
SIS Links
💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen
📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email
📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram
🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast
📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

Addiction can gradually disconnect people from the ordinary pleasures, relationships and experiences that once made life meaningful. In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen help make the science of addiction recovery practical and accessible with Dr. Eric Garland, a clinical researcher, psychotherapist and leading expert in mind-body therapies for addiction and chronic pain. Dr. Garland is the developer of Mindfulness-Oriented Recovery Enhancement, or MORE, an evidence-based treatment that combines mindfulness, cognitive behavioural therapy and positive psychology.
Why do alcohol and other addictive substances begin to feel more rewarding than everyday life? How are addiction, chronic pain, depression, anxiety and trauma connected? Dr. Garland explains how substance use changes the brain’s dopamine and reward systems, why cravings can become automatic, and how mindfulness can create a pause between an urge and an action. He also discusses relapse prevention, emotional pain, moderation, harm reduction and the role of meditation in 12-step recovery.
The conversation breaks down the three pillars of MORE: mindfulness, cognitive reappraisal and savoring. Dr. Garland explains how mindfulness strengthens attention and awareness, how reappraisal helps people examine the consequences of their choices, and how savoring retrains the brain to experience pleasure from ordinary moments. He also shares techniques for observing cravings, “playing the tape forward,” rebuilding natural reward and using the STOP practice before engaging in an addictive behaviour.
Sonia reflects on how rediscovering simple pleasures and developing new hobbies contributed to a profound identity shift in her own sobriety. Dr. Garland shares how his personal mindfulness practice shaped his career, why recovery can involve transcending an addiction-based identity, and how people can reconnect with meaning, joy and a version of themselves that is larger than any craving, painful feeling or past behaviour.
This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.
Highlights
00:00 Dr. Eric Garland and the MORE approach02:00 How mindfulness shaped Dr. Garland’s career04:10 Addiction, chronic pain and the loss of natural reward07:00 Clinical research and the effectiveness of MORE08:00 Reducing relapse, cravings, pain and emotional distress10:00 Why people use substances to escape pain12:00 Mindfulness, reappraisal and savoring15:00 How addiction hijacks the dopamine reward system18:20 Practical ways to relearn pleasure in recovery20:00 The mindfulness loop and strengthening attention23:00 Recognizing triggers and automatic cravings25:00 Zooming into the physical experience of a craving28:00 Playing the tape forward through cognitive reappraisal30:20 Mindfulness, pain and emotional bypassing32:00 What traditional addiction treatments may be missing34:00 Finding reward in coffee, birdsong and everyday moments40:00 Sobriety, identity change and self-transcendence43:00 MORE, the 12 steps and responding to a lapse46:00 Harm reduction, moderation and opioid treatment49:00 The STOP practice for interrupting automatic behaviour53:00 Expanding MORE through training, community and technology
Dr. Garland's Links
www.moretherapy.com
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/more-therapy/id6761741739
 
SIS Links
💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen
📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email
📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram
🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast
📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

What if the parts of you that feel stuck, afraid, or hard to explain are connected to something deeper than this lifetime? In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen explore hypnosis, identity, past lives, intergenerational trauma, and spiritual healing with Boris Walter, a Psychotherapeutic Consultant specializing in parallel metaphysical phenomena, commonly referred to as past lives, and founder of the Consciousness Integration Collective. Boris helps people locate their inner authority by remembering who they are beneath fear, protection, and conditioning.
Boris shares how his path moved from offshore oil and gas work into psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, altered states of consciousness, and spiritual exploration. Together, Sonia and Kathleen ask: What is the difference between personality, identity, and the true self? Can hypnosis help people access parts of themselves that ordinary talk therapy cannot reach? Are past life memories literal, symbolic, or both? And how do fear, shame, family trauma, and old protective patterns keep people disconnected from their own inner knowing?
This conversation opens up a grounded but expansive discussion of the ego, the unconscious mind, hypnosis, higher consciousness, and the ways trauma can live in the body. Boris explains how hypnosis can soften the grip of the ego, move people beyond the social mask, and allow them to access imagery, emotion, memory, and meaning that may not be available through conscious thought alone. He also explores the idea that healing is not always about proving whether an experience is “real,” but about understanding the themes, emotions, and false beliefs that are asking to be transformed.
In the personal story portion of the episode, Boris reflects on the childhood experiences, family dynamics, spiritual encounters, and early client sessions that shaped his work. Kathleen also shares her own powerful experience in Egypt and the unexpected emotions that surfaced during the conversation. The episode moves into a deeper discussion of ancestral memory, intergenerational trauma, Indigenous history, and the possibility that healing may involve not only this lifetime, but the wider field of family, body, spirit, and consciousness.
This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.
[00:01:00] Boris shares the unexpected path that took him from offshore oil and gas work into psychotherapy.
[00:02:00] Why money, success, and a “good job” still left Boris feeling unfulfilled.
[00:03:00] Boris explains how wanting to understand himself and his mother’s mental health led him toward psychology.
[00:04:00] Kathleen relates to Boris’s career change and the feeling of being called into therapy work.
[00:06:00] Boris discusses childhood wounding, ego compensation, and finding work that is no longer driven by the wounded self.
[00:07:00] Why traditional talk therapy felt incomplete to Boris, and what he believed was missing.
[00:09:00] Boris explains why he became interested in altered states of consciousness and experiences that transcend the mind.
[00:10:00] The first client experience that introduced Boris to past life material and higher-self perspectives.
[00:12:00] Kathleen asks whether Boris was spiritual before these experiences began appearing in his work.
[00:13:00] Boris describes his early fascination with paranormal activity and parapsychology.
[00:14:00] Boris shares a profound DMT experience that changed his understanding of divinity, purpose, and love.
[00:17:00] How client sessions began shifting Boris’s personal spiritual practices and relationship with his body.
[00:18:00] Kathleen asks whether there is such a thing as a “true self.”
[00:20:00] Boris explains personality as a social mask and identity as a structure that creates stability.
[00:24:00] Kathleen asks what hypnosis is and what happens in the brain during a hypnotic state.
[00:26:00] Boris breaks down beta, alpha, and theta brainwave states and how hypnosis creates openness.
[00:29:00] Boris explains how hypnosis can help people access higher-self perspectives, guides, past lives, and deeper emotional material.
[00:34:00] Kathleen asks whether past life experiences should be understood as literal, symbolic, or something else.
[00:41:00] Kathleen shares her own powerful experience in Egypt and the theme of feminine power that emerged.
[00:49:00] Kathleen asks about intergenerational trauma, Indigenous clients, residential schools, and inherited memory.
 
Boris' Links
Website: https://www.boriswalter.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/boriswalterofficial
 
SIS Links
💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen
📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email
📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram
🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast
📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia explores the hidden patterns behind addiction, emotional dysregulation, self-sabotage, and high-functioning survival mode. She is joined by Dr. Blair Steel, a licensed clinical psychologist whose career has focused on resilience, substance abuse treatment, and helping people understand how they either transcend adversity or become trapped in negative cycles. Dr. Steel’s background includes training at Beit T’Shuvah, working as a primary therapist at Cliffside Malibu, serving as Program Director at Passages Malibu, and maintaining a private practice. She is currently a clinical supervisor at pH Wellness and part of the clinical team at Carrara Wellness Treatment & Spa, with writing featured in outlets including The Huffington Post, CNBC, and Well + Good.
Together, Sonia and Dr. Steel unpack why addiction is often more complicated than a simple bad habit or lack of willpower. They discuss what it means to view emotional and behavioral patterns as protective rather than defective, and why alcohol or substances can become a way to regulate depression, anxiety, social discomfort, trauma, identity loss, or overwhelm. The conversation looks at the progression from drinking as something that feels magical, to something medicinal, to something miserable — and how to recognize when substance use has become a private coping mechanism instead of a shared ritual or choice.
Dr. Steel brings a compassionate, clinically grounded perspective to high-functioning addiction, perfectionism, shame, cultural programming, and emotional avoidance. She explains why shame rarely creates lasting change, why internal motivation matters in long-term sobriety, and how “pattern solving” can be more useful than problem solving. Sonia and Dr. Steel also explore AA, community, social media, therapy, psychedelics, ketamine, antidepressants, labels, self-regulation, and the difference between being alcohol-free and identifying as sober.
In the personal story segment, Sonia shares her experience of being a high-functioning alcoholic while working as an orthodontist, running a large practice, and holding a professional license. She reflects on selling her business, the identity loss that followed, her fear of having too much unstructured time, and the realization that sobriety was not just about removing alcohol — it was about building a new life. Sonia and Dr. Steel also discuss the grief of letting go of old identities, the pressure to appear put together, and the moment when the “party” has often been over long before someone finally stops drinking.
This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.
Highlights
[00:01:00] Dr. Blair Steel introduces her work as a clinical psychologist and how she entered the addiction treatment field.
[00:02:00] Blair explains why she sees patterns as protective rather than defective.
[00:03:00] Sonia reflects on how alcohol once helped her survive severe depression and anxiety.
[00:04:00] Blair discusses why substances can work temporarily before they begin taking more than they give.
[00:05:00] Sonia and Blair talk about shame, blame, fear, and why shame is not motivating.
[00:06:00] Blair introduces the idea of pattern solving instead of problem solving.
[00:07:00] Sonia connects cultural expectations, self-care, and the pressure to push through pain.
[00:08:00] Blair explains how alcohol can maintain a disconnect between the head and the heart.
[00:09:00] Blair discusses the disease model of addiction and why she does not approach people as “sick.”
[00:10:00] Sonia asks why addiction and mood disorders so often go hand in hand.
[00:11:00] Blair shares the phrase “magical, medicinal, then miserable” to describe the progression of alcohol use.
[00:12:00] Blair explains why she prefers “problematic” and “non-problematic” substance use over “healthy” alcohol use.
[00:13:00] Sonia and Blair discuss psychedelics, ketamine, and the risks for people who tend to reach for substances.
[00:16:00] Blair validates Sonia’s self-awareness around knowing what is risky for her sobriety.
[00:17:00] Blair shares her view of AA, community, interpretation, and why connection matters.
[00:18:00] Sonia asks how addiction shows up differently in high-functioning people.
[00:20:00] Sonia shares her experience as a high-functioning alcoholic with a professional license.
[00:23:00] Sonia reflects on losing her identities as wife, orthodontist, and business owner.
[00:29:00] Blair explains the difference between external motivation and internal motivation in long-term sobriety.
[00:43:00] Blair offers a first step for anyone feeling stuck: set a small, short-term, attainable goal and get honest about what happens.
 
Dr. Blair's Links
Instagram
 
SIS LINKS
💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack– where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen
📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email
📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram
🌐 Kathleen’s WebsiteKathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast

Feeling flat, burned out, or disconnected after doing everything “right” can be confusing—especially for high-achieving women who are used to setting goals, checking boxes, and pushing through. In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia speaks with Danielle McGeough, a professor, speaker, transformation strategist, host of the Plan Goal Plan podcast, and creator of the RISE Ritual Method. Danielle helps high-performing women and teams reconnect with their core identities, navigate transitions, and create intentional plans that support sustainable growth.
Sonia and Danielle explore what happens when ambition starts to feel empty, why burnout and demoralization are not the same thing, and how women can begin redefining success after a major life shift. They look at the difference between productivity and purpose, how planning can become a tool for self-discovery, and why so many people turn rest, wellness, sobriety, or even creativity into another pressure-filled checklist. The conversation also asks: How do goals change when identity changes? How can ritual help with habit change? And what does it mean to build a life that feels aligned instead of simply impressive?
Danielle breaks down the difference between habits, routines, and rituals, explaining why habits are meant to become automatic while rituals are designed to bring people back into presence and meaning. She shares how rituals can help shift someone from one state to another, whether that is from work mode into home mode, from reactive parenting into calm connection, or from “gap thinking” into recognizing the gains already made. The episode also touches on consistency, flexibility, all-or-nothing thinking, moderation, replacement rituals, early sobriety, and the power of adding a little “ish” to the places where perfectionism has taken over.
In the personal story segment, Sonia opens up about redefining success after selling her orthodontic practice, writing her book, and noticing how easily her own ambition can turn hobbies, healing, and self-growth into another metric to master. Danielle shares how her own experience of burnout, motherhood, demoralization, and identity loss led her to rethink planning as something deeper than time management. Together, they explore how alcohol can function as a transition ritual, why letting go of that ritual can involve grief, and how new rituals can help support identity change in sobriety and beyond.
Highlights
[00:01:00] Danielle introduces herself as a mom, professor, and “ritual nerd.”
[00:02:00] Danielle shares how achievement, habits, and hard work helped her earn a PhD and tenure—but left her feeling flat.
[00:03:00] The conversation turns to burnout, anxiety, rumination, and realizing something needed to shift.
[00:05:00] Danielle explains how decorative planning and stickers unexpectedly helped her slow down and reflect.
[00:07:00] Danielle defines the difference between burnout and demoralization.
[00:08:00] Sonia asks how demoralization changed Danielle’s relationship with goals and ambition.
[00:09:00] Danielle describes bitterness, numbness, resentment, and the desire to disconnect.
[00:11:00] Danielle reflects on using novels, Netflix, and over-exercising as ways to avoid her own feelings.
[00:12:00] Sonia asks how Danielle’s identity had to evolve beyond career, wife, and mother roles.
[00:14:00] Danielle reframes planning as a way to collect data about values, priorities, and self-connection.
[00:15:00] Danielle explains the difference between habits and rituals.
[00:16:00] Danielle shares why rituals are powerful tools for identity change.
[00:17:00] Danielle explains the RISE Ritual Method through the story of “Safe Place Sarah.”
[00:20:00] Danielle describes how her research on collective rituals helped shape her personal ritual framework.
[00:22:00] Danielle explains why traditional goal-setting can feel too abrupt for women who are disconnected from their desires.
[00:24:00] Sonia opens up about redefining success after selling her orthodontic practice.
[00:29:00] Sonia and Danielle discuss turning sobriety, wellness, rest, and hobbies into productivity projects.
[00:32:00] Danielle introduces the idea that change may begin with intensity but is maintained by consistency.
[00:36:00] Danielle reframes consistency as shortening the gap between “oops” and starting again.
[00:44:00] Sonia and Danielle explore how alcohol can become a transition ritual, and how replacement rituals can support early sobriety.
This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.
Danielle's Links
Website
Instagram
 
SIS LINKS
💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack– where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen
📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email
📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram
🌐 Kathleen’s WebsiteKathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast
📸

In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Riana Malia explore how old relationship patterns, identity shifts, and unconscious beliefs can keep women stuck in cycles that no longer match the lives they are trying to build. Riana is a board-certified neuro-somatic practitioner whose work helps women break long-standing relational patterns and create deeper, more authentic connection. They look at what happens when women have done the inner work, moved through sobriety, divorce, reinvention, or major life transitions, and are ready for relationships that reflect who they are now — not who they used to be.
The conversation opens up big questions about why high-achieving women can be so successful, strategic, and clear in their careers, yet still feel confused or stuck in love, dating, friendships, family dynamics, or partnership. Why do the same patterns keep repeating? What is the difference between knowing a pattern intellectually and actually releasing it from the body? How do childhood beliefs, unconscious programming, and old identities shape the way women choose, attach, perform, shrink, over-function, or settle in relationships?
Riana explains how neuroscience, somatic awareness, identity work, and emotional release come together in her Clear to Create method. She talks about clearing old stories, cycles, resentment, loss, limiting beliefs, and emotional charge so that women can create confidence, partnership, love, and a life that feels aligned. The episode also explores why “I don’t want this anymore” can still keep attention fixed on the very thing someone is trying to avoid, how the unconscious mind drives so many relationship patterns, and why replacing old neurology matters just as much as understanding it. Riana also shares practical tools, including her “Magnet for Miracles” exercise and a 72-hour rubber-band practice designed to interrupt negative thought loops and redirect attention toward what is actually desired.
Riana shares the life experiences that shaped her work — growing up with a distant father, being forced to become resourceful at 18, entering a lonely young marriage, navigating a painful divorce, moving across the country, losing financial security, and eventually finding herself in a relationship that became her line-in-the-sand moment. Her story traces the path from survival and self-abandonment to clarity, self-trust, and becoming available for a different kind of love. She also shares how doing this work changed her own life and helped her become ready for the healthy partnership she once thought would never happen for her.
This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.
Highlights
[00:01:00] Riana Malia is introduced as a board-certified neuro-somatic practitioner helping women break old relationship patterns.
[00:02:00] Riana shares the early experience of being left without college housing support and learning how to become resourceful.
[00:03:00] She describes getting three jobs, renting a house, and staying in school despite having no clear path forward.
[00:04:00] Riana talks about marrying young, feeling lonely in marriage, and becoming a mother.
[00:05:00] She opens up about the fear, anger, and volatility that followed her divorce.
[00:06:00] Riana explains the decision to move to California despite every instinct telling her not to.
[00:08:00] She recounts the DEA investigation that upended her life and froze the assets she was relying on.
[00:09:00] Riana describes choosing to stay in California to keep her promise to her daughter.
[00:10:00] She shares the “never again” moment that led her to stop shrinking, performing, and abandoning herself in relationships.
[00:11:00] Riana introduces her Clear to Create method and explains why people have to clear old stories before creating a new life.
[00:12:00] She explains how unconscious patterns keep people repeating the same relationships, jobs, money patterns, or family dynamics.
[00:14:00] Riana talks about becoming ready to receive healthy love after clearing old toxic patterns.
[00:16:00] She uses a dinner order metaphor to explain why clarity, specificity, values, desires, and non-negotiables matter.
[00:18:00] Riana explains why high-achieving women can feel confident at work but stuck in relationships.
[00:19:00] She breaks down the conscious and unconscious mind using the 10% and 90% framework.
[00:22:00] Riana compares old identities and beliefs to expired pantry items that need to be cleared out.
[00:24:00] She explains the difference between becoming aware of a pattern and actually replacing the neurology behind it.
[00:31:00] Riana shares the bridge metaphor for stepping into a new identity that matches who someone is becoming.
[00:39:00] Sonia asks about manifestation, and Riana reframes it through neuroscience, frequency, and attention.
[00:43:00] Riana walks through the “Magnet for Miracles” exercise using the away wall, toward wall, and 72-hour rubber band practice.
Riana's Links
🌐 Website https://rianamalia.com/
SIS LINKS
💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack– where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen
📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email
📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram
🌐 Kathleen’s WebsiteKathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast
📸 Kathleen’s Instagram